Wednesday, September 29, 2010

My Query Letter: I Need Your Help!

Hey guys,

I'm in my last stage of editing and I'm getting ready to send my work out. I don't often do this but I could really use some help from everyone. I'm posting my query letter up here and if you guys could tell me if it's good, I'd really appreciate it! Even if you aren't a writer, just tell me if you'd be intrigued reading it!

Here we go:

Dear Agent (obviously I'm changing this),

Sixteen-year-old Blake Porter just landed a job to die for… literally.

Found half dead on her front porch, Blake wakes up in the hospital a day later with no memory of the previous 32 hours.  The answer arrives on her doorstep in the form of a strange guy, claiming to be the Charon from Greek Mythology, there to pass on the paddle for the rest of eternity.  The only stipulation for the new gig is a six day expiration date, and a bad case of denial.

Eighteen-year-old Aiden Wright is still freaked after discovering Blake’s almost lifeless body, especially since he’s been nursing a crush on her for years.  Spending most of his childhood alone with Law and Order, he decided to model his life after his fictional heroes, but now he’s not sure he’s cut out for the job

All Aiden’s detective prep comes in handy when a string of “accidental” deaths occur at their high-school.  Aiden suspects a murderer, Blake knows the truth. It’s going to take all of Blake’s courage, and every detective skill Aiden can conjure up to crack this case; before all Hades breaks loose.

Styx and Stones is a young adult paranormal novel completed at around 73,000 words and told in alternating point of views. (There will be more here tailoring it to the agent)

Alright, let me know what you think! I really appreciate it!


  1. Amber, my name is karlinha. I live in Brazil, and visit her blog daily. I really love this blog!

    Well, I think it's perfect and you should send rather.

    I was dying of curiosity to read everything.

  2. Oh. My. Goodness. I am completely drawn into it, and I want to read it!! I love the title -- Styx and Stones, it's perfect!!

  3. I'm not an agent, but that was brilliant! Dying to read it now! Good luck with everything! :)

  4. I like how succinct and unique the premise is. I would definitely read this story. I think the only thing you might want to add is a wee bit of a bio on your writing creds if you have any. At least, that's what I've been told :) Great query!

  5. I'm adding in on this bandwagon. I so want to read this now. Your words flow wonderfully.

    I have a cousin named Stone. Many people think it is a weird name I think it is great!

    Good Luck and if you need someone to volunteer for a ARC read... I'm here! Just a hop away :)

    Black Disaster Fairy

  6. Everyone,

    Thanks so much for your words of encouragement! It's getting down to the wire now and I'm VERY close to sending this out for agents so it's really great to know that you are interested in the premise and would read more based off this query letter. It's the extra boost I need to finish my line edits tonight! All of you are so sweet!

  7. Oh yes, my dear. It sounds very pleasing.

    You can sign my up for a copy to review ;)

    Buy your self something pretty, like a parasol. Then send it out to everyone. It will help you feel better as you wait ever so patiently!

    Mad Scientist,

  8. Definitely an awesome concept; I know I'd be excited to read it. :]

  9. Sounds great! I wish I could write like that, seriously.

  10. I LOVE the title !! Yeah this is something I'd definitely read and if there's anything I can do to help, I'm a whistled away :)


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