That's why it is difficult for me to be a writer. I don't mind constructive criticism because I've learned to find the gems in it. I can accept that how I write, what I want to say and the characters in my head won't appeal to everyone. I don't even mind if someone doesn't like what I've written.
But what I find hardest to deal with is not focusing on a lost oppurtinity and I don't think I'm alone.
When I was in high school, I was part of a very focused and fantastic choir. We sang together, sweat and cried together and bleed together. We worked hard. Those endless hours of practice and forfeit weekends made us close to each other and our director. At the end of the year, our director gave out awards to all of us for different things and he also gave us a piece of advice. To this day, I don't remember what my award was for (probably for organization or something) but I do remember the advice because it is something I struggle with daily. He said: "Amber, don't sweat the small stuff. Don't focus on the little things you can't help but focus on the big picture and all the things you've accomplished."
These simple words encapsulate my entire delimma today. I have more than enough doors open to me right now. More than I've ever had before and that is something to be proud of. But because I got the news that one of these doors have closed, I'm feeling a little down even though it is something I can't control. Even though it is something small in the big picture.
But as each of these doors close, they are teaching me something. They are teaching me that I can handle the small details going wrong and something beautiful can bloom from the next door over. It's teaching me that I have written something that I believe in even if a thousand more doors close. It is teaching me that I don't have to sweat the small stuff. And it has made me richer for it.
So here are the three things I learned today:
1) Sometimes the old sayings are true. When one door closes, a new one opens.
2) You have to believe in yourself or no one else will.
3) You really don't have to sweat the small stuff.