Saturday, August 27, 2011

Saturday Discussions (16): Are you the jealous type?

I fear some of you may think less of me this week. I'm going to make a confession because recently, I've had an epiphany. This week, I want to talk about something very near and dear to my heart. Of course, the answer is about books because that's what this blog is about. But specifically, I want to talk about that green little monster called jealousy. And the other thing I want to do is admit that I suffer from it bad.

I'm talking specifically about writing jealous right now. Every time I see someone announce that they got an agent/book deal/cover, I have to count backwards from ten to think rationally. I've been working at writing well for almost 10 years now, diving into my work, studying all the tips and tricks and agent hunting and it still hasn't happened for me. But you know what? After that intense stab of jealous comes on, I realize that I should and can be happy for the person doing the announcing and am able to do that.

I had this same sort of sick feeling every time I went to an author signing too. I'd smile on the outside and be dying on the inside of the why-can't-that-be-me? syndrome.

Or how about when you see someone post up a great IMM with all these super cool books that are screaming your name? You have to wonder, why their blog? What do they have that makes them better than me?

Recently though I've decided to stop. Stop the sting in my gut every time I read about someone else's good fortune. And how I've done this is by resigning myself to the fact that just because it hasn't happened for me yet, doesn't mean it never will. Sure, I may not get that great new novel until it's out on bookshelves but I still will get it. Yeah, I haven't been able to get an agent yet but I'm still writing. I've taken away the pressure on myself. And magically, with that gone, I've noticed my jealous urges have leaked away with the stress. I can open a post or look at a Tweet and feel genuinely happy for someone's good fortune. Do I still get jealous sometimes? Sure, I'm human! But I'm not letting it control me anymore. Good things are coming my way. I just have to relax and let it happen!

So what about you guys? Do you suffer from amazing book envy or writing success jealousy? Tell me some ways you combat it!

Do you have a topic idea? Ask me here:


  1. Sometimes I feel this way too! I look at other peoples blogs and think "Why do they have so many readers? Why are so many people commenting on THEIR blog and not mine?" and then I realize that I need to stop comparing myself to other people and I need to remember why I started blogging in the first place. For fun. And if it stops being fun and just becomes some sort of unspoken competition, then I need to really think about it and make a change. :)

  2. Good for you! It's sometimes hard to realize that your own life is just as crazy as anothers. It's actually comforting in a way to know that every single author I've met in the online community has had struggles. NO one has an easy trip to success, or even if it seemed that way, I'm sure they are having their own set of problems with popularity =). But many of them have written posts that detail the excruciating path to publication. As writers our blood sweat and tears DO go into our work, but I guess if it came easy, maybe we wouldn't work as hard? Or it wouldn't mean as much.

    I'm rooting for you! And I hope you (and I) make it some day!

  3. Yeah, I suffer from that little green monster called jealousy too. I'm still working on conquering the beast but I'm making an effort and that's what counts.

    Kudo's for tackling this subject. I maybe way out in left field with this one but I think that this is an issue for a lot of people in our community.

  4. I don't have any dreams of writing success, but yes, I definitely have some book envy going on. Especially when I see those ARCs. But since my own book pile is definitely adding up, I'm trying to stop. Especially when I still have some ARCs worth being jealous for. ;)

  5. How come you don't self pub chick? Just curious...

  6. Thank you so much for this post. I deal with jealousy towards other books bloggers and in my personal life. I struggle daily and I appreciate you being so honest with your blog readers.


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