It's Girl Meets World

Since I seem to be talking about things I loved as a 90's kid, what better to talk about than the new Girl Meets World trailer that Disney just released?

With it, they've also released a series premiere date which is June 27th!

Check out the trailer below and then we'll discuss the good ol' days:

Growing up there was no better couple for me than Cory and Topanga. I mean, come on, they loved each other since they were like 7 (I know in the show they say 3 but we ALL saw the earlier years and we know that Cory just thought Topanga was goofy). When I think about the 90's this is the first show that comes to my mind. I loved watching Cory and Shawn get into trouble when they were little and grow up together, experience firsts of all sorts and go off to college. When the show ended, it truly felt like my childhood did too.

When I heard they were making a sequel show, I was VERY skeptical. Could they really capture what I loved about the original show? Because that show was magic. By all accounts, it wasn't all that different than the other 90's family sitcom--Full House, Step By Step, Growing Pains--yet, it always felt different to me. Funnier, more gripping and loaded with heart. I found myself caring about each character.

Then Disney announced that it was bringing Bed Savage (Cory Matthews) and Danielle Fishel (Topanga Lawrence) back and was going to focus on their daughter who will be the same age as Cory when the show originally aired. That was promising. Then all the other old cast members were visiting the set. We started getting photos of them with their younger counterparts and all of a sudden, I found myself believing in it.

I'm so excited to experience this show again but this time I'll be like Cory and Topanga, watching their daughter like she was mine. It'll be fun to feel like just part of the old gang and seeing new adventures.

I found these photos from EW of a cast photo in the beginning and one now that just makes me smile:

I can't stop smiling just looking at them all grown up and I really can't wait to see how the new show is going to work.

Are you guys as excited as I am?

She is the One Called Sailor Moon

If you're a child of the 90's like I am, odds are you've at least heard of Sailor Moon. She was the chick equivalent to Dragonball Z.

I hardcore loved Sailor Moon growing up. I loved it even though no one else at my school did. None of my friends even knew what I was talking about when I sang the theme song or talked about how cray cray Serena was being. But I still rushed home every school day to catch the latest episode on Toonami.

The cool news is that they are actually re-booting the show! It's going to premiere July 14th and will air every other week (2 episodes a month) at 6:00 everywhere. They have chosen the same VA for Sailor Moon but the rest of the cast has been changed. No word yet on if they are going to dub it over into English.

The creators have stated that it will take out some of the filler fluff from the previous anime and stick a little closer to the manga. I haven't read the mange but I'm seriously considering ordering a few and trying them before the show starts. Apparently the manga gets a lot more into the back story of the Sailor Scouts and I am all down for that.

Since they are rebooting it, they are also redrawing it and have slightly changed the style of the characters. They just released some sketches which you can see here:

Serena (Sailor Moon)

Ami (Sailor Mercury)

Reni (Sailor Mars)

Lita (Sailor Jupiter)

Mina (Sailor Venus)

All photos from The Mary Sue

I'm really stoked about the reboot but I'm not loving the redesigns. Their legs have always been really long but they used to have some meat on them. Their boots used to be a little bit thicker suggesting some muscle. These limbs look like they wouldn't be able to hold them up. I'm hoping that when they are drawn for the show that they are slightly more realistic looking. Especially Reni's broken looking leg. They've also shrunk their heads from the original which I do like. It makes them look older and their proportions aren't as off any more. 

I'm excited to see the new places the show is going to go and what they can do with the scouts now that there are so many advances in technology. I probably won't wake my butt up at 6 AM to watch them but this is definitely something I'll DVR and look forward to checking out.

What do you guys think? Excited to see this show reboot or wish they would leave it alone?

An Analysis of Spike and Buffy's Relationship

I found this post that I wrote last year for the Buffy week I was putting together and I think it is a good representation of where I'd like this blog to go. I've always posted about all things that I love and I'd like to do that more. Look for posts on books, writing, television shows, Etsy finds, papercrafting and more coming soon! 

Warning!: This post will make you want to watch the show again if you haven't seen it in a while!

Spike and Buffy

As with all fandoms, the age old question is who the lead character should end up with. During Buffy's seven seasons on television we've been there with her through the many heartaches and triumphs as she tackles what it truly means to be a slayer. Some of her highest highs and lowest lows have been because of the men she's let into her life so today, we are going to talk about the final of the three men Buffy fell in love with.

That's right, we're chatting about Sunnydale's resident bad boy Spike (portrayed by the wonderful James Marsters)! So settle back, grab a turtle neck and let's get started.

Spike and Buffy: The Beginning
When we are first introduced to Spike, he rolls into town as the brand new Big Bad with the psychotic and psychic vampiress Drusilla on his arm in Season 2. He's determined to kill the new Slayer and is pretty sure of himself since he's killed two before Buffy. This tongue-in-cheek dynamic that they establish in Season 2 carries throughout the entire series and keeps Buffy and Spike, as well as the audience, guessing until the very end. Setting up Buffy and Spike as enemies in the beginning might be one of the best things that could have happened for two very strong reasons.

The first is that it caused a lot of tension between them since they are enemies. When Spike first comes on screen, it's hard to ignore the chemistry he has with Buffy. Now, I'm not exactly convinced that it was sexual chemistry but I thought that these two played off each other well. It sets up a basis of hate that stretches through the seasons and eventually turns into something much more powerful. It gives them passion.

The second thing is, and this is probably the most important thing about their relationship, they see each other at their worst. As enemies, they don't try to impress each other. There is no "best behavior" with these two. Spike wants to kill Buffy, Buffy wants to kill Spike, and there isn't anything more to it. Most couples don't see the worst of each other until it's too late to fix it but Buffy and Spike start out this way. True that it does get a little bit worse in Season 6 but for the most part, they know each other's darkest sides and can start loving each other knowing all of the other person.

From Enemies to Reluctant Allies
By the end of Season 2, Spike and Buffy establish what will become their relationship for most of the following seasons which is an uneasy alliance. After Spike comes back to Sunnydale and gets a chip implanted into his head, he realizes that the only way he can get his fill of violence is by teaming up with the Scoobies to fight his own kind. During this phase, Spike goes through depressions and bouts of general lack of caring for the safety of everyone including himself.

But as he continues to be there through the triumphs and trials of the Scooby Gang, he realizes one night that the reason he hangs around all the time is because he craves that witty banter between him and Buffy and that he misses that head of blonde hair when it isn't around. To his utter horror and later Buffy's revulsion, he has developed a crush on her.

It is Spike's lack of caring that makes the moment he starts to care so much more poignant. Buffy and Spike's relationship up to this point has always been effortless because they truly didn't care about each other at all. When he suddenly realizes that he has somehow developed feelings for her, everything becomes different. Gone are the days of bad behavior because he realizes that if he is ever going to truly have Buffy he is going to have to become better. However, he also knows that he doesn't have it in him to be good which causes an inward struggle.

Awkwardness to Friendship
Thus we enter into my second favorite stage of Buffy and Spike's relationship. Here we spend most of our time chain smoking with Spike outside Buffy's house underneath a large oak tree just to catch a glimpse of her. When they do finally meet, Spike tries to dispute all the things her likes about her by engaging in their witty yet he can't bring himself to actually mean it. This is where we start to see Spike's humor come out in his actions too. Like when he wakes up Buffy and she tries to put on clothes while he peeks or when he snoops around her room.

He also starts taking interest in the things that Buffy is interested in, namely fighting evil and protecting her friends, and really starts to help the Scooby Gang. It doesn't mean he's necessarily nice to all of them all the time but he does start to try and care for them the way Buffy does. 

Buffy finally takes notice of all his attention and realizes that Spike is putting in all the extra effort for her. At first, she's horrified by the idea. She's had her fill of vampires and Spike is the worst sort. But she gets her first hint that his feelings might be legitimate when he is captured by Glory and tortured to give up the location of the key she is looking for who is actually Buffy's little sister Dawn. Spike refuses, willing to die to keep this information safe. It's in this moment that they go from the awkward phase to building an actual friendship. Buffy doesn't feel the same about Spike as he does about her but she realizes that his feelings are genuine and begins to trust him with Dawn and their duties. Their friendship becomes so strong that Buffy entrusts Spike with Dawn's life at the end of Season 5 and Spike carries on guarding Dawn even after Buffy is gone in memory of that promise. When Buffy comes back, she only tells Spike about being in heaven and in Once More With Feeling, he is the one that begs her to let him help her.

Their friendship phase is just as essential to their relationship as their hate phase. It's here that we get a sense of what they might be like together. They begin to rely on each other more, Buffy willing to save Spike in a fight and Spike proving that he can handle keeping the things Buffy finds important safe. However, we find out that even though Spike wants to be good, he really can't be that way totally. After all, he has a demon in him and he still doesn't have a soul. Though his feelings for Buffy are true and Buffy can rely on him, we learn soon that she can't trust him.

Buffy and Spike: Let's Get Physical
Buffy comes back broken and this is were we truly see that even though Spike can be relied on, he can't be trusted. Instead of wanting to make Buffy better, he wants to pull her into darkness and force her to embrace her dark side. He sees this as the only way they can be together and in a lot of ways, that's true. Spike tried to be good and that didn't really stick so being bad is a better route.

Buffy proves that she can embrace her dark side, initiating in an often physically violent relationship wtih Spike. For them, pain is pleasure. Spike enjoys the pain, that Buffy can hold her own against him, and Buffy throws all of her self loathing into their relationship. She takes out all of her anguish on Spike and hates herself afterwards. Though they enjoy a physical connection, like with Riley before Spike, Buffy can't let herself be open with Spike because she knows she can't trust him.

During this time, we really see how horrible these two can truly be. Buffy goes dark with her hatred of being alive and treats Spike like crap. Spike takes the abuse because it's all a big game to him. Whatever actual feelings he has for her are pushed aside so they can enjoy their physical relationship but it leaves neither of them feeling that satisfied in the end.

Seeing Red.
When she finally commits to living again, she decides to end her relationship with Spike, leading to one of the most intense episodes I've ever seen on television: Seeing Red. A Buffy and Spike relationship analysis can't exist without a discussion on that episode and I could probably do an entire post on the horrific nature of that bathroom scene.

In case you need a refresher, this is where Spike drops by Buffy's house to beg her to continue sleeping with him. He becomes desperate when she says no, tormented by the fact that he feels so much for her and wants her to "feel it too". He believes that the only way to do this is to force himself on her. Buffy is able to fight him off long enough for him come to his senses but it feels like there is no going back from there.

Seeing a character like Buffy who has always been portrayed as strong and good and with the ability to take care of herself almost get sexually assaulted by a character that we were supposed to think of as a possible leading man or love interest is enough to make you sick. After watching, I wasn't sure I could ever go back to wanting them together because of the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach as Buffy sits there on her bathroom floor in her dis-shoveled robe and cries.

This is rock bottom for their relationship. After this, their relationship doesn't even exist. All of the secret kisses and touching hands and witty banter and beating the crap out of each other just doesn't matter because you've just witnessed something so horrific. The only thing that is left, the only question that comes to mind is: Is redemption even possible? Well, maybe you ask "why?" as well.*

Redemption
Spike leaves that same night to find a way to get his soul back. After going through some grueling trials that were never supposed to be won, he earns his soul and with it all the awful things he did as a vampire drive him insane. When Buffy finally finds him in the basement of the new Sunnydale High, he has been with The First Evil and his own sins for a very long time. There is this very poignant scene where Buffy follows Spike to a church and through his half ramblings we learn just how mad he has become. He wants to make everything better, the fact that he can't makes him crazy, and her ends up hugging a cross while his flesh sizzles. During his ramblings, Buffy learns that he reclaimed his soul for her and that Spike would rather die than put people in danger now.

The moment that Buffy learns that Spike now has a soul, everything changes. She still doesn't forgive him for what he did to her but she realizes that he is feeling the full affect of that night in her bathroom along with hundreds of years of other bad things. I think it says a lot about him that he could feel so much remorse as a soulless vampire that he would go  get his soul back. I think he partly just felt crazy that she wouldn't love him without it but he knew the gaining a soul would mean facing down years of awful things and he did it anyway.

As Spike starts to integrate back into the group and readjust to life with a soul, he begins to prove that he is worth a second look. Eventually, he gets kidnapped by The First and refuses to cooperate even though it tortures him relentlessly. All the time he is there he believes that Buffy will come and get him due to the bond they began to develop before he was captured. When Buffy does come to get him, this strengthens their relationship and his faith in Buffy.

That strength is what finally redeemed his character in my eyes. After suffering endlessly for most of the season, Spike finally gets his groove back, finding a balance between kicking bad guy butt, being his old self and dealing with having a soul again. During a trip out of town for info, Buffy is ousted as leader of all the potential slayers and not even Willow, Xander, Dawn or Giles will back her up. She leaves them and Spike comes back looking for her. He finds out what happens, tells everyone off and goes to find Buffy. When they find each other, he gives the best damn speeches I've ever heard on television:

I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I'd prefer you didn't. I don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker; I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of. You. Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you - it has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try... I've seen your kindness, and your strength, I've seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy. - Spike

It's sad that, in my opinion, we only get two nights of one of the most real and intense and lovely relationships that has ever been on television. Spike and Buffy just hold each other that first night. But it's what comes after that I think is the true testament of their relationship. Spike confronts Buffy about a conversation she has with Angel and gets her to talk. He tells her that spending that one night with her was the best night of his existence and she opens up to him. Buffy's never been able to talk to her boyfriends. That's one of the main reasons Riley left. I think it is that moment of honesty which tells us the most about these two together. They had the stuff to make it because Buffy was finally ready to let someone in and Spike knew her well enough to know that. 

The Final Picture
The truth about these two is that they have seen every side of each other. They've known each other long enough to carve out a meaningful relationship and have each sacrificed to be with each other. Spike is one of those characters that is hard to forget because he completely transformed himself over and over to become what Buffy needed. He's British, rock-n-roll, bad to the bone and sexy as hell but he's also loyal and kind and sweet and attentive. Spike understands Buffy's strength and instead of being intimidated by it, he respects her more for it. He is her match because in the end, he doesn't try to be.

Spike is not always the best thing for Buffy. In fact, sometimes he is actually the very worst for her because he sought to pull her into darkness. But by season 7, he has literally walked through fire and battled physical and mental demons to prove that he can become a better man. He ripped down every wall to be someone that Buffy deserves by earning his soul and he proved his enduring loyalty to her by sticking by her side when no one else would back her and by walking into that hell pit to die in the last episode.

I haven't gotten to Spike in the Buffy comics but I'm impatiently waiting for him to show his face and really hoping that they'll get another chance now that they aren't looking at certain death. I'm not looking for forever (though if they did end up forever in the long run, I wouldn't complain). I'm just looking for a chance for them to try. Now that they have both suffered and grown and changed for the better, I'd love for them to get a real shot.

Because I can, here is a picture of me meeting James Marsters who was just a super cool guy in person:

And here the Spike and Buffy shadowbox my hubby and I made entirely out of paper:

Our Etsy Shop

What do you guys think about Spike and Buffy? I'd love to know in the comments below.

*In case this is a question you asked, I did do some research about this episode after I watched it. First of all, if you were horrified (and you had every right to be) know that both actors were too. James Marster even wrote in his contract that he would never do another scene like that again. Secondly, the background for the episode was that it was a concept that a woman came up with. She took one of the most embarrassing things that ever happened to her and purposed it for this episode. Basically, she tried to convince her boyfriend at the time to not leave her by trying to sleep with him one last time so he would see that he really loved her. However, reversing the roles and having a man try to do that to a woman just didn't work on screen.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8: Thoughts on the Major Death

Just as a warning, if you do not want Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8 (the comic) spoiled for you, don't read on. I'm going to be talking about some major spoilers so I thought it would be fair to throw in a caution statement.

Seriously, if you don't want to know, stop looking.

Stop it!

If I've kept you this far, then you know we're about to talk about the (arguably) biggest thing that happens in Season 8 of Buffy and that is the death of a major television character. Now what I've always loved about Whedon's shows and movies is that he rarely takes the predictable route. Every time you think you have something pinned, he slams a fist in your face with something completely different and then you have to cry for 18,000,000 days while softly saying to yourself that you love it because it hurts so good.

For this reason, I found the killing of of Rupert Giles to be a little disappointing. It's not to say that my heart didn't ache when Angel's snapped his neck. These same hands also claimed the life of Giles' love Jenny Calendar in an earlier season and for me, that has a sort of ironic bitterness that made his death all the more painful. Even worse was that Angel was not his evil side Angelus at the time but rather driven by some outside force. I will not deny that seeing Giles lifeless body on the floor in at least six panels of the comic made me sick to my stomach and watching Buffy fall to the ground bailing her eyes out with Xander (who bailed his eye out if we are going to get correct) while Angel stands on looking dazed and confused made my eyes feel a little teary.

But what I will say is that I think Giles was an obvious choice and while I don't wish death on any of my lovelies, I do wish it was someone else. See, I always noticed and REALLY appreciated that Giles was never killed off because it made sense to kill him off. Most stories go through a part where the hero has to become independent and in order to do so the mentor/trainer has to die. That way the hero can truly come onto their own and have a real reason to go forth into the world and conquer. So in the Buffy show, I always waited for Giles to be killed in some awful way that would force Buffy and her friends to grow up. And then he didn't. And he didn't.

Season through season, Giles remained alive even though the odds were stacked against him by normal literary tropes since the beginning. Eventually, Giles does live the crew to go back to England to allow them to grow up, especially Buffy who relies way too much on him when she should be acting like an adult, but he is never killed off and always comes back when the day is truly desperate. 

I loved that Giles was Buffy's ace in the hole. When it looked like nothing could stop evil Willow, Giles barges in and puts up a damn good fight. Now, I had my problems with the route Giles character took in Season 7 because suddenly it seemed like he'd completely lost his faith in Buffy but I really felt like in Season 8, he was working on building that back.

Another thing that made me sort of angry was that Giles and Buffy weren't even in many scenes together. Especially after the crappy way Giles viewed Buffy in Season 7, I was hoping for one volume that would rekindle this mutual feeling of respect and closeness we had in previous seasons. We had a great Willow/Buffy bonding volume and an awesome Xander/Buffy bonding volume but Giles never really came around. I knew the writers were trying to rekindle that love a little when Giles follows Buffy and Spike out of that cave to stick with her but then lets her fly free but I just felt like we needed so much more to make his death have more impact. I don't think we should just have to rely on the things we knew they felt in the past to add the meaning when a short scene before the battle would have made all the difference. Hell, I'd have given up my adorable Spike and Buffy scene to get some Buffy/Giles bonding before his death.

I don't know, maybe that was something they were trying to comment on. A sort of, you never know when this day is going to be your last day, especially in the Buffy universe, but if that's the excuse than it sort of feels like a cop out. 

I just wish we hadn't finally gotten the trope I'd been expecting all along which was Giles' death. I do like that it sets up Angel to go back to some serious redemption work though and it gives him an unexpected ally. 

I appreciated the ambition of Season 8 and unlike a lot of fans, I did like the scale of the season but I am also glad that Whedon addresses that Buffy will always be best roaming around cemeteries doing her small part to save the world from a war that is much bigger than herself.

I guess the only thing I can say at this point is RIP Giles. We'll miss you and if you had to go, at least it was in some pointedly ironic way that causes interest for the next season. Not that it makes it any better but it's something. 

What do you guys think? Was it time for Giles to go or do you wish, like me, that it hadn't been him mainly for the reason of making the series different? Love to hear your thoughts.

A Note on Spike and Buffy in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I've just finished watching a little television show called Buffy the Vampire Slayer from beginning all the way to the grim end. I've been shocked, cried, laughed (a lot) and swooned until I'm literally just tired. When I watch something that I like, the story gets underneath my skin and embedded in my veins like a drug. Just knowing that I will never see a new Buffy episode is enough to throw me in a tizzy though luckily I've saved Angel and can enjoy that next. In an attempt to unload some of these intense feelings, I thought I'd write about a few things.

What I want to write about first is the whole Buffy and Spike thing because this going to take the longest for me to come to grips with. The whole truth of it is that I'm not satisfied with it. I love Joss Whedon and I think he's brilliant but I'm just not happy with how Buffy and Spike turned out.

As a character, I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be drawn to Spike. I liked Buffy and Angel because I believed in their relationship. They were willing to die for each other and fought along side each other in every battle they faced. They were equals and I respected that. I loved that about them.

And then this other vampire is introduced and I knew he became a player for Buffy's heart. So Spike drives into Sunnydale for that first time with his rock-n-roll attitude and complete disregard for everyone but himself and Dru and I was unimpressed. Heck yes, he was freaking funny but I just didn't see the appeal of him. Not when Buffy and Angel had such a strong relationship. I kept waiting to understand throughout the season and just couldn't. I did love how Spike was so deliciously evil with Dru and I found it interesting that he was willing to risk everything to get Dru and himself out of Sunnydale safely but I still didn't see it. Little did I know that I was catching my first glimpse at the devotion Spike would become known for... I was just witnessing it for a different girl.

So Spike comes back later in a parody of his first entrance, all drunk and sobbing and stumbling. But this time, he gets stuck in Sunnydale. Angel exits the picture for his own show, leaving Buffy broken and takes Cordelia with him. All of a sudden, they bring in Spike to (and I'm paraphrasing James Marsters own words) "tell Buffy she is stupid and is going to die" and it starts to work. I start seeing him tag along with the Scoobies, completely uninterested in their own safety but jonsing for a good fight, a reason to be sarcastic and to laugh when things go wrong.

After Spike gets a chip implanted in his head, it finally clicks. I realize that I'm craving scenes with Spike and Buffy together because I can't get enough of their witty jabs. All of a sudden I'm looking for that trademark bleached blonde hair and black trench coat in every scene. How the heck did this happen? Well, it's because he's funny and his chemistry with Buffy is undeniable.

But after a while, it's became something different for me. He was funny and I enjoyed all that but I realized that his character was changing. He was transforming into something different. Then he realizes his feelings for Buffy and for me, everything changed. It's because we hadn't seen that side of vampires in Buffy the Vampire Slayer before. We knew they were demons so how can demons love? But all of a sudden we saw a monster beginning to love like a man--passionately, without regard for his own life and without hope of reciprocation. Then, I got it. Spike is better because he maintains his ability to love through his vampirism and I should have seen it all along in his admiration of Dru.

Season 5 does a great job of building on this funny little feeling that Spike doesn't want to have. Suddenly, he starts to care about the things Buffy cares about. This is the Spike that I wanted to see Buffy accept and love back. But the writers of the show took it a completely different way.

I understand why the writers did what they did with the Season 6 relationship that is Buffy and Spike. I'm not even going to talk about her state of mind here or what it meant to her. I do want to point out that the abusive and highly sexual relationship the develops are major steps towards women's sexuality. I'm not saying that what they did was right or wrong but I am saying that Buffy was often the one to initiate both the violence and the sex and whether it's right or not, I think it was brave of the show to allow Buffy to have her sex life exactly the way she wanted it, even if it did destroy her.

But what I want to look at more is Spike. And the reason I want to look at it closer is because of the attempted rape scene in "Seeing Red". I was literally stunned when I saw this episode. How did Buffy and Spike go from demolishing a house with their love making to Spike trying to force himself on her in a scene so terrifying it still sends shivers down my spine and breaks my heart? I've been asking myself this question and I've been able to rationalize it in my own mind even if I'm not sure I can accept it myself. Season 6 took Spike away from being the ear that Buffy could always rely on and the hands that always had her back and made him into the darkness that was in Buffy's heart. Spike wanted Buffy to come into the darkness with him. Though I don't think Spike was the biggest problem in this relationship because the entire time they were together physically, he craved an emotional connection to. However, the monster in him wanted Buffy isolated, wanted her passionate and didn't know that he was killing her by encouraging it.

So here's my answer for "Seeing Red". Buffy began her relationship with Spike the monster in violence. It was a blend of self-loathing on her part, violence and finally, shallow passion. But in order to really end her relationship with the monster and get the man, it had to end the way it started: in violence. Since this is the one time that violence and sex was not wanted on Buffy's part, it resulted in an almost rape. I've read a lot of articles and I'm not sure how many of them are true but it has been stated over and over that the writer's truly believed Spike needed to be rocked so deeply in his core that there was no other option but to get his soul. While I understand all of this, I'm still not sure this was the way to go.

Season 7 reinforces my thoughts on this because Buffy never experiences a relationship with Spike the man. So what was the point of having this terrible violent ending with the monster since they have to go through all that to get the man? When he gets his soul back, which he openly admits was for her, there are no hugs or kisses or embraces. What we get instead are three precious nights where Buffy gives away the one thing she refuses to give most other people: a connection. She connections with Spike on a level that he has craved since he was only a monster and didn't even really know it's what he wanted. I just wish we'd been given time to see Buffy try to be with Spike the man. This is why I feel truly unsatisfied. I understand that Spike gets his soul for himself when it really comes down to it but the writers make it a point to tell us that it was originally for Buffy. So I wish we'd have gotten to see a little more reward from Buffy for Spike as a man than an "I love you" as he is dying which even he didn't truly believe. After all, it was Spike alone who stands behind her when everyone else forsakes her. He is the one that grips her from the darkness he so desperately tried for her to embrace before, and gives her the strength to keep going. So I really wish I'd gotten a little more from Buffy and Spike together in the end.

I am going to read the comics to see what happens and I'm really hoping that Whedon & co give Spike the chance to really be with Buffy the way that Angel and even Riley have as a man instead of simply a monster. It's my fondest wish that they at least get to try and from what I've been able to read, at least I know that Buffy still thinks of him romantically.

I ask myself this final question which I can't answer yet and that is, what do I want? Do I want Spike to be happy with Buffy or am I really craving for Spike to be happy?

Have you seen the show? I'd love for you all to chime in!