I had never really thought about bragging until I read a few things on it recently. Sure, I've definitely had blogger envy (who doesn't) but I'd never thought too much about bragging. I guess it's because I've never really seen the bloggers who I follow do this. Sure, I've seen them maybe tweet that they got some books in that I wanted (heck, I'm guilty of that myself) but it never came off to me as them bragging.I think one of the reasons I haven't seen too much of this is because I haven't gone to too many events. I know that it seems like this comes out more at places like BEA where there are a lot of invite only parties (so I've gathered). As I stated, I haven't even seen much of that. I guess it's out there but I haven't met a blogger that comes off as rude or haughty. If anything, I've been surprised at the generosity of the blogging community.
Do I feel sad when a blogger I love might not answer a comment or Tweet and feel like I'm not in their "special club"? Sure I do! But there are a million different reasons for that and I know not to take the oversight personally.
Chances are, the people that are bragging probably don't know it and the ones that are worried about it probably aren't. I know that I haven't seen anything like this (can't think of a single instance) but that doesn't mean it isn't out there. Likewise, I know I would never intentionally brag but if I do, then I am truly sorry to those I might have offended.
Here's to talking about books, passion and everything in between without fear of bragging and to a killer year in books for 2012!
What do you think about blogger bragging? Myth, real or something in between?
People can't make you feel bad if you don't let them. I think that you have a very valid point about it being a matter of perception. The people who are accused of bragging really might not intend it that way at all. And whether they do or not actually doesn't matter and cannot be proved.
ReplyDeleteI have an old friend who lives by this: "It is not what is said that matters, only what is heard." Because no matter what you say and how you think you say it, it is entirely possible for another person to preceive it in another light.
I think that this stems from jealousy and insecurity. And I think it's really sad. If we all start buying into this, where does it start and where does it end? With who has the prettiest blog? The most followers? The highest feedburner followship? The most ARCs? The list just goes on and on... And in the end it really all means squat.
This hobby isn't about who is the biggest and baddest, at least not to me. It's about books, how much I love them, and how I have been able to connect with other book lovers, be they readers, writers, publishers or anyone else under the sun who likes to slip a Kindle in their bag or breath in the scent of freshly printed paper.
I have a tendency to want to tell people when good things happen to me. My intent is never "Look what I got that you didn't.", but rather, "Check this out. Maybe you'll like it too." And if what I have can be obtained, I am careful to document where I got it.
What we want from this book blogging thing varies by the individual and I think the important thing is to realize what is right for our own path -- not to envy or compare what is happening to us with what's going on with others.
Have I dealt with envy? Absolutely! And it makes me sick! It's not going to get me any closer to what I am envious about, and it ticks me off because when you feel envy you block the ability to feel gratitude and the ability to express feelings of goodwill. Time spent wishing I had what so and so has is time I could be spending appreciating and using what I have received.
In many ways this hobby is tied to "look what I got!". We do it every time we post a review. Every time we post an In My Mailbox. Every time we thank a publisher for sending something or express joy over a giveaway. Except I don't feel that I am saying that when I am involved in these things. I see reviews as chances to express my opinion. In My Mailbox is a great way to connect with others and wish them a good week, and thanking people for things that I receive is an act of gratitude.
If someone is running another blogger into the ground, that's totally not cool and 100% unacceptable. But if someone is going to a person's blog and feeling "bragged at" I think the best thing to do is to examine what's going on inside, because no one can control how someone else will respond to something, but every person has a choice in how they decide to respond.
This has been extremely lengthy and is very opinionated. And for the record, what I've learnt in the time I've been blogging is that I'm actually happiest reading and reviewing books I choose and am confident that I will love. I've never agreed to review something I thought I would hate, but I still feel there is a difference between a book I grab because I'm like "Oh my God, it's out!" and one I choose because it looks interesting and it will look good on my blog.
Blogs and bloggers are all totally unique and are here for their own reasons. Respecting and accepting this is part of the "cycle of life", as far as I have seen.
I say it's a combination of both real and something in between. Some people really just brag about their blogs just because they like to and they really do think their blog is awesome. And there's the other people who brags about their blog subconsciously but somehow I doubt it. But nice post anyway. I like this discussion:D
ReplyDeleteYou so don't brag. Don't worry! I think you're right, the ones who are worried about it probably don't and the ones who do probably don't realize it. I mean, we're BOOK lovers...we get SO excited when it comes to anything books, especially when that UPS man shows up. I hope the same, that I don't brag. But I agree, I think we're obligated on some level to share the books we've gotten because the publishers want buzz...as long as we're careful how we do that, we should be fine.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the great post!
Amber
The Musings of ALMYBNENR
I think there is a fine line between reporting events and bragging about them. Part of the point of these events is to talk about them and spread the word about authors and books. But, much like anything else, it can be taken too far.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that the people who are worried about bragging probably aren't.
And I am socially awkward, too. :)
All of the bloggers I follow on a regular basis are lovely people. I have seen the occasional person that comes off as high and mighty, not really bragging but coming across as if they know best. Sometimes I think it's a lack of maturity as a lot of bloggers are younger and it's not always easy to read tone online.
ReplyDeleteI certainly don't think people sharing what books they got or what events they've been to is bragging.
I think this bragging issue is just a question of perspective.
ReplyDeleteLet's say blogger X mentions about receiving book X, or being at BEA, or being at X by-invitation-only event. Blogger X isn't necessarily flaunting this in our face to say "nanana I went and you didn't". Bloggger Y, who is totally green with jealousy would say blogger X has been bragging.
I guess it's all depends on which side of the fence you're on.
I never feel like I've been bragging on my blog, but who know, someone might think I have been.
When I'm thinking of Kristi of The Story Siren, I personally don't think she's a bragger, but some people who are jealous of her success might think she is because she gets awesome stuff, and meets great authors all the time and is invited to speicial stuff at BEA. But she's just lucky enough to live in an area allowing her to visit events, she's putting a lot of efforts in her blog, and it pays off.
Great topic Amber! I'm brand spanking new to blogging so i haven't even thought about this at all yet. I guess you are right though. Some may think of it as bragging. I personally wouldn't think that way and give people the benefit of the doubt. However, maybe it depends on the voice and the tone of how people write. If i go to a convention, meet a famous author or get positive feedback, why not speak about it. makes sense to me.
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen any instances of bragging especially on your blog. I think most of what I have seen is excitement, whether it be over getting much anticipated books or going to certain events.
ReplyDeleteI of course get envious at times but I don't begrudge others for the books they receive or the fun events they attend. If anything I wish my area held more bookish events.
You've got to have confidence as a blogger in order to keep your audience engaged and give them confidence in you. Perhaps it's a fine line between being proud of what you know/have achieved and bragging but the achievements are yours: why shouldn't you share them with pride?
ReplyDelete....huh...I haven't seen to much of this around the blogging world either. Like me, I would never brag I'm so perfect and cool and super (-gets cut off- hahaha I was just kidding). Interesting post! New follower! ^.^
ReplyDeleteNow I'm a little paranoid that I've bragged in the past...huh...
I absolutely don't feel like you brag at all on here, Amber. Actually, I love reading your enthusiasm for the books you get because it makes me excited for them, too. And I enjoy your write ups of author events because we don't get many down where I live, so I live vicariously through you and the other book bloggers than talk about author signings.
ReplyDeleteSmiles!
Lori
It's so hard to read tone online--especially with the short tweets. Sure, I wish I had those "exclusive" invitations or got some of those "you're our fave blogger" packages (ooh, twinge of jealousy when I see those). And, if the person annoys me too much with their "look what I got", I stop following. Still, it's me who's in control of what I read and how I read it.
ReplyDeleteAnd you? You rock. :)
Great topic!